So, I’m apparently on a leave of absence from work. I say apparently because it wasn’t really planned ahead of time… it just happened. I went to work a couple weeks ago and three hours later I was heading home with the intent of staying home for the next two weeks. Why? All the troubles in life kept adding up to the point that I could barely function. I was exhausted, severely depressed, and my anxiety had blown up to the point that I spent every waking moment shaking. Ultimately, something needed to change, and that meant work. Read More
I’ll admit, I’ve been sitting at my computer for hours trying to figure out how to start this post. I was chatting with a student at work the other day about mental illness, specifically bipolar, and why it terrifies me as much as it does. The truth is, it’s hard to explain. The hypomania isn’t terribly scary and even the depression isn’t that bad, most of the time. Part of that, though, is because of my mom.
I think she must have always known that I would end up with bipolar. After all, she had it, and the chances were high enough that I would inherit it. In fact, some of my earliest memories were lessons on how to regulate myself through meditation, mindfulness, breathing, and so on. Imagine that. I was 6 years old and I could meditate as if I had been born doing it. Talk about a life skill! Read More